Considering I work from home and I’m not really into the bar scene, the club scene, or… any scene really and considering all my friends are either married, on their way to being married, or Jewish I don’t have the best circumstances for meeting someone naturally. And since I’m a poor bastard I don’t have the funds to pay for sites like eHarmony or Match.com, so I’ve turned to the personals section at Craig’s List.

Browsing through it just now got me thinking, I’m not just deciding what I look for in a girl, but I’m deciding what I look for in myself. Most people (at least those worth knowing) are multi-faceted, and who you associate yourself with brings out different facets of your personality. My high school friends and my college friends are radically different from each other, and hanging around each group emphasizes different parts of who I am. Of course it works the same with people you date.

What is incredibly interesting though about my situation now is that unlike my friends, who I just picked up along the way in a fairly haphazard fashion, I am looking through lists of women who’ve made the impossibly difficult attempt to sum up their essence in a few paragraphs and deciding which if these are worth talking to. It is like I’m shopping, and I’ve heard people (read: women) say that shopping for clothes is a thrill because they able to define themselves or put on new “selves” with different outfits or clothes.

Now I don’t know much about that, but if you’ll permit me a geeky reference, I think I understand. Whenever I played a role playing type video game (like Knights of the Old Republic, or Ultima Online, etc) my favorite part was always choosing my character. Did I want to be a fighter, a theif, or a mage? An elf, a human or a dwarf? Should I emphasize this stat or that stat? Even playing Civ I love deciding what leader traits or civilization I should go with. Actually playing the game is always less interesting than that first phase of picking my character. But the thrill for me was just seeing the limitless options and exploring those in my mind. How that would shape my strategy in the game, my skills, my powers, and ultimately my identity.

So it is that same kind of feeling that just hit me as I was browsing through and responding to these various personal ads. The options do seem limitless.

An indie rocker who very well may in fact be a reoccuring character on Questionable Content?

I like dudes who really like music or even obsess about it. Some shows I’ve been to lately: Built to Spill, Tapes & Tapes, Jenny Lewis & the Watson twins (amazing!!), Sleater Kinney (also amazing!) Wilco, Beirut… etc. etc.

The girl who chooses to define herself by defining what kind of alcohol she likes:

When it comes to drinking… classy is key … I love wine, beer and alcohol…everything except gin … and I’m not big into drinking whiskey either…

The ever popular girl with the broken capslock on her keyboard:

SO IF U LIKE WHAT U SEE AND WANT TO GET TO KNOW ME MORE COME BY AND PLEASE HAVE A PIX SO I CAN SEE WHAT U LOOK LIKE. I WANT SOME ONE WHO IS FREE AND NOT ABOUT THE GAMES FOR A LTR.

There is also a trick to figuring out whether to take a comment at face value or see it as just the tip of the ice burg. Like this girl, does she just sensibly not want to make out in restaurants or is that a polite way of saying she is cold and physically detached?

I want someone who will hold me when we’re alone, and yet in public… not be all over me. A kiss here and there is one thing. You see people making out in booths at restaurants… it’s a little gross.

The “open-minded” girl who probably wouldn’t get along with non-lefties?

Interested in eventual monogamy, but in no rush. If you’re not liberal/lefty, we probably won’t get along - but, hey, I’m open-minded!

And her counterpart:

I’ve been in a real mud-wrestling fight…have pics to prove it, and have a scar from getting bucked off one of those mechanical bulls! I also enjoy all sports (bonus pts. for Terps fans). I was raised in a military/police-like family and find myself extremely attracted to men in this field. I can relate most to guys in gvmt., law enforcement, or military jobs.

The gold digger:

I want a Man that has money take me out and one that can hold a conversation. I love the finer things in life and Need a man that can give them to me.

The intellectual:

Extremely intelligent, avid reader, perpetual student/academic. I’ve always had a crush on my English teachers. You know, the wise, deep voiced, charismatic, passionate, French poetry reading, ranting about romanticism English teachers, but I could fall for any really talented charismatic pedagogue who’s adamant about a theoretical framework–even a deconstructionist. Or an economist. Or a Freudian. Or a socialist. So long as you embody your perspective in a way that can draw me in, fascinate me, inspire me, teach me.

The girl who defines her ideal partner in terms of a musician (this is 100% of her post btw, both title and content):

If you love Elliott Smith….. - 21 …..You could be my kind of guy.

The girl who seeks to substantiate her claim to be a “pseudo-intellectual” by analysing Craig’s List personal ads (hey, at least I have a blog to pretend to be intellectual on):

It always strikes me how awful most personal ads are. Some are obviously self-inflating. Others you can tell they are being truthful, which makes makes it much more pitiful.

Some ads are just..there.

The woman with a “spiritual advisor”:

So, I recently made a trip to a “spiritual advisor” and she described to me some guy I’m supposed to meet. I know it’s random, but I figured why not post the description on Craigslist?!

I was told I’d meet someone with curly hair, who lives near water (or is from near water), travels, has a great sense of humor and whose name is at the end of the alphabet.

So yea, I could go on and on, and I admit I slipped into posting quotes here just for humor or contrast rather than to back up my original point, but it’s late, so forgive me. But seriously this is fascinating to me. Do I go with an intellectual? The artsy girl? The sports fan who claims to be “one of the guys”? The girly girl? The tomboy? The country girl? The eastcoast liberal? All work with me in a way, and all don’t in other ways. The one I pick ultimately says something about me and how I see myself.

But it is difficult too. The old adage “opposites attract” applies. Maybe I’d have the best chemistry with the girl who is least like me. Hasn’t been my strategy so far, but who knows.

So which of these did I end up responding to? Probably most of them. Which of course is the sad reality of Craig’s List. The gender balance is hopelessly skewed out of my favor. So my only real option is to roll the d10 of destiny and see what happens.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 14th, 2006 at 1:06 am and is filed under Personal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.