Its time for the nation’s ageist busybodies to put their money where their mouth is and once again defend the poor, undeveloped teenage brain from the taxing, dangerous demands modern society places on this Precambrian chunk of gray matter.

On the heals of the huge amount of attention paid recently to junk science studies on the teenage brain, a new study has come out that ‘proves’ the teenage brain is too undeveloped to handle household chores like laundry, doing dishes, making the bed, and taking out the trash.

Finally researchers have come up with a reason other than pure laziness for why teenagers can’t shower and brush their teeth or unload the dishwasher and wipe down the counter.

Blame it on “cognitive limitations.” Their brains can’t multitask as well as those of the taskmasters.

The part of the brain responsible for multitasking continues to develop until late adolescence, with cells making connections even after some children are old enough to drive, according to a new study in the May/June issue of the journal Child Development.

So after brain studies ‘prove’ teenagers are incapable of driving cars and drinking alcohol, ageist America stumbles over itself to be the first to propose raising these ages. Where, I wonder, is the chorus of demands that the age to do household chores be raised? Why haven’t the pious, safety minded crusaders in Congress introduced legislation to prohibit teens from washing dishes and cleaning their room until they turn 18…or 21…or 25? Their brains clearly can’t handle it. Its science. Can’t argue with science, ya know. So the law must respond!

*looks left* *looks right* *gasp*! Where is everyone? No one is out there pushing through legislation to raise the national chore age. I am shocked, deeply, deeply shocked. Right now millions of youth are putting themselves and their family in jeopardy by handling dangerous dishes, treacherous trash bags, and perilous pets. A responsible society would raise the age for chores to 25.

Or at least a non-hypocritical one. But alas, of the many superlatives one can affix to our society, ‘non-hypocritical’ certainly isn’t one of them. Some others might work though: ageist, anti-freedom, controlling, oppressive, ignorant, disrespectful, and at all times, in all circumstances: anti-youth.

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 19th, 2005 at 12:55 am and is filed under Youth Rights. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.